Happy children
Happiness is a direction, not a place. ~Sydney J. Harris
When I ask parents what they want for their child, happiness is usually on the list. Their child’s needs may be many or few, but every parent hopes their child will find happiness in spite of their needs. When parents say this, I listen carefully to find out what they really mean. Do they want their child to develop the skills to be happy in life, or are they asking that we not make them unhappy, even if it’s just occasionally? This is important, because while we can work with the first parent’s wish, we will not succeed with the second.
I was reminded of this today when my co-teacher and I caused S., one of our camp kids, to cry. He had played a long time with a piece of equipment, and other children wanted to play with it too. We set the timer and then explained that it was time to let others have a turn. This did not go over well with him, and he clung tightly to the toy and wailed. Tarish and I didn’t even need to look at each other to know what to do. We gently but firmly stuck to our guns. We took turns sitting with him in his sadness, but even when the toy became available again, we explained that at JRA, you don’t get what you cry, or whine, or nag, or pitch a fit for.
It’s important that parents understand that JRA is not Narnia, but a place where children struggle with the day-to-day details of how to learn, live, work, play, be a friend, and yes, be happy. This isn’t easy. Kids fall short and fall down and sometimes fall apart for a while. That’s okay. We’re there to catch them. And we believe that every child deserves joy every day and so we build in opportunities for that to happen. But learning the skills that enable one to be happy in life isn’t always fun. We persevere because we know that the momentary pleasure that comes from always getting one’s way doesn’t last. It is having courage, character and resilience that come from deep within that makes a happy life a possibility. Those are qualities that must be forged and tested in order to become a lasting part of us.
When S.’s mother came today, I explained what had happened and why he didn’t get to play on the toy. She nodded and said, “That’s the rule at home too.” She seemed pleased that we loved S. enough to endure the storms he sent our way. I was pleased to realize this was a parent whose child we could help. And the hug and big smile he gave us as he left told us we’re on the right path.
Value-added donations
As a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, we are able to receive tax-deductible donations, and we try to use them wisely. Let’s follow one $100 donation and see how it’s used.
We are adding a fourth classroom this year, and for that we need a new door, circa 1920′s to 1950′s. We are a historical building, so it needs to match the other doors. We can’t go to Home Depot and find what we need, so we call salvage companies and check at thrift stores. Although I’m searching for a door, I keep my eyes open for other needed items too, and I strike pay dirt. Someone has obviously cleaned out recently because I find over 200 paperback and hardback books for our library, including full sets of phonetic readers: cost $38. I move on to Habitat ReStores. Sure enough, at the one in Durham I find a historical, five paneled door, just what we’re looking for, for $30, as well as an 8 foot solid wood work table for my classroom on sale for $40. As I’m leaving, I spot two padded, stackable chairs for the table, $6 each.
Back at school, in preparation for our geography unit, I order two Montessori map puzzles and a set of landform trays from a discount Montessori website: total, $80. I feel like I’ve gotten good value from that one $100 donation: a new door, worktable and two chairs, 200+ books, 2 wooden puzzles and 10 landform trays.
At this point, you are thinking that we don’t do a very good job of teaching math at JRA. But what I’ve neglected to tell you is that during this summer and early fall, each donation is matched by an anonymous donor. So each donation does double duty. And because we often buy used and search out discount sites, your donation gives even more value. Buying from thrift stores is an inflation buster; a similar table retails for over $600 and the chairs are $34 each.
We prefer to find what we need in this way so that we can provide tuition assistance to more students. We are not an exclusive community of learners; we welcome families of all income levels and circumstances. Right now I am working to find funds to offset tuition costs for students who need our services very badly but can’t pay full tuition.
For that, we need your help and your donations. Please consider making a monthly or yearly, tax-deductible donation to JRA. You can give and know that your donation will go far to make a struggling student’s life richer and more successful. We value your gifts and we promise to make them go as far as possible.
Thank you for your help.
"Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!" - Dr. Seuss
